A Fly on the Wall
by Thenumber1riddlerfan
Summary: Puck does some snooping...and find out what his family is REALLY up to. Takes place around second epilogue in Council of Mirrors. Rated T for mild innuendo.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, everybody! This is just a drabble I came up with, since I noticed few stories that actually use Puck's shape-shifting power in them. I might add more chapters with various other animals, but only if I have the inspiration and time. (Plus desire and willpower to drag myself off the couch.) Anyway, I hope you like my half-baked idea!

Don't own it.

P.S. Reviews and constructive criticism are my best friends! (As always.)

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><p>Puck was astonished with his own brilliance. In all seriousness, how could he have not thought of this before? All the secrets of the Grimm clan were his to exploit! Well, at least the secrets of his wife and daughters.<p>

Puck flew his way around the living room, eyes peeled for either his spouse or his prodigy. This had taken some getting used to, granted. The multiple images somehow made him want to throw up, but it would be worth it if he could gain some valuable insight into the lives of his family, such as why Emma was failing math.

Admittedly, the buzzing was also starting to get annoying. He didn't make that much sound when he normally flew, did he? It was maddening! No wonder bugs flew in such bizarre patterns, they were probably trying not to hurl.

But never mind that now; he was getting close to his goal, though he had a couple of close calls, the closest involving the dinning room and Emma with a rolled-up newspaper. While he could appreciate the irony of it, it would be best not to allow Emma to turn her father into a tiny smear on the dinning room table.

Passing into the kitchen, he headed for the top of the cupboards. He had discovered this spot long ago. It was the only place in the house where you could hear EVERYTHING. Every pipe bursting, every time the dogs made a mess of themselves, and, oh yeah, every conversation currently taking place in the house. While this was an invasion of his family's privacy, Puck figured, it was practically his paternal duty to know every little thing about his household. It wasn't _his_ fault exactly; he just needed to know why Emma failed such and such, what exactly Sabrina was planning on doing to the curtains (and how much it would cost), and which gutless swine he had to worry about eviscerating if Allison got too chummy with them. See! It was really a favor to them in the long run.

Searching with his highly sensitive fly-ears, (Which begs the question, do flies have ears?) he quickly zoomed in on a conversation up in Sabrina's study.

"…on't care, Daphne, it's out of the question." A faint murmuring, like someone on the other end of a telephone, responded.

"You can stop bringing it up, it's not going to happen." Murmur, Murmur.

"Daphne, I'm hanging up now. I have a lot of work to do. Scarecrow called earlier asking about his case and I… No! I'm not doing that! … What do you mean why?!" The murmuring on the other end appeared to be getting more exasperated.

"I don't care if he'd love it! … No, I really don't! Puck will survive, I'm sure." Oh, so she was hiding something from him, now was she? The plot thickens.

"What do you mean just come look at it? … I have no desire to look at it. I'm appalled you even suggested it! … It's totally different than what you got me for Christmas!" Whatever Daphne had gotten Sabrina was totally different from that sleeveless body-hugging dress? Puck hoped not.

"… Well for starters, that covered far MORE! ... What if the girls saw me walking around in that?! They'd think it was all right to… No, I'm not… Well, yes, I… You know what Daphne? I will come over there tomorrow, just so I can tell you to take it back. … No! I don't want the hat that goes with it; I don't want it at all! … Yes, you will see me tomorrow, and no, I will not be taking it with me when I leave. … Daphne, really… Uggh, love you too. … Bye."

A click announced that the phone was back in its cradle. Filing his wife's words away for future teasing, Puck attempted to listen in on the sound of his younger daughter's voice, somewhere down the hall in the living room. (He also made plans to thank Daphne on Sabrina's behalf for what he assumed would be a very generous birthday gift.)

"Okay, three times five would be… eight? And eleven times seven must be… nine?" Puck, listening to the ominous scratching of pencil on paper, winced inwardly and found himself hoping fervently that it was Sabrina's turn to help the girls with their homework.

"If a poster is seven inches long by three inches wide, what is its area? Hmm, … … seventy three?" If Puck had been in his normal form, he would have banged his head against something hard. As it was, he simply reminded himself to ask Sabrina if she could set up another parent-teacher conference whenever she had the time. He would go himself, but the principle's restraining order prevented him from entering the building.

And last but not least, Puck, in apprehension, tuned whatever listening device flies have towards his eldest daughter's bedroom; the place no sane father would ever venture.

"…cky, he _is_ dreamy, isn't he? And his _eyes_, Vicky, his eyes! I could just melt in them!" Puck felt a dark emotion stir in his little fly chest. Perhaps another of Allison's classmates needed to be dealt with.

"…nd Mr. Rollards said Parker is going to be going to state, this year! I mean it's no surprise, really. He always was the best of the team." So that was the little weasel's name: Parker. It sounded like some royal fairy guardsmen were going to be taking a trip to Manhattan tonight.

"Yeah, he asked to see me tomorrow. … I know! … We're meeting behind the cafeteria, after school. … I'll just skip cheerleading practice, since…" WHAT?!

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><p>Sabrina Grimm was just finishing her memo to Scarecrow, her face still slightly flushed from her conversation with Daphne, when a resounding crash sounded from down-stairs. Jerking her head up, Sabrina was already reaching for one of the many knives she had hidden around the place, when Puck sprinted past the office's open doorway…only he was heading toward's the girls' rooms, not downstairs. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" She heard him yell, as he wrenched Allison's door open.<p>

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><p>He he he...I don't know what I created. I truly apologize. But please, tell me mistakes and I'll fix them. And if you liked this, read my other sister's grimm fanfic too! Thanks!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, I know I should be working on the last chapter of In the King's Court, the one where Sabrina gets back at him, but while I suffer through writer's block with that... here, have some Puck torture of a different kind!

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><p>"Faster, faster!" The little girl cried, her heels digging into the poor animal's sides. The poor horse wheezed, its flanks heaving as it continued to go around the ring at a frantic pace. Sabrina Goodfellow stood off to the side, smiling at the surprisingly endearing sight. Sabrina was never one to promote animal cruelty, but these were…. special circumstances. Five other children looked on from the sidelines, their eyes wide at how fast Emma was getting that pathetic creature to go. A red-haired woman also looked on, but with an amused smile at contrast with the blatant example of animal abuse.<p>

Sabrina, eventually deciding that she should intervene, called to her daughter. "Emma, honey, its time for cake." The girl in question squealed and could barely sit still long enough to be helped down by her mother. "You and your friends go with aunt Daphne to the table, I'll be along in a minute." Sabrina gestured to a picnic table a hundred yards off, where Emma's older sister already waited with a bored expression on her face. Emma looked up at her mother, her big eyes reflecting light in that manipulative way children can do.

"Daddy will be coming soon, right?" Sabrina smiled down at her.

"Yes, he'll be here very soon, he just had to work a bit later than usual is all. In fact, the sooner you get seated, the sooner he will arrive." Emma flashed her mom a big smile and hugged her thighs (the only part she could reach) before eagerly taking the scarlet-haired woman's hand and leading her and the other children away. Sabrina smiled after them, watching her daughter practically bounce on her feet.

"Are they gone?" Sabrina turned her bright face to the blond-haired man currently panting on the ground beside her, the pony's saddle and girth still circling his waist and a crumpled bridle draped over his head.

"Just about. You two looked so cute together! I got pictures!" Puck groaned from his spot on the ground, as far away the children played tag around the picnic table.

"I should never have agreed to this." Puck muttered as he climbed onto his knees.

"Yes, well, next time, don't make promises you don't intend to follow through on." Sabrina dryly stated as she helped the man to his feet. It hadn't been his fault! He had been tricked by that little goblin!

Two days ago, he, king Puck, most kickass father in the world, had been sitting in his own living room, minding his business, when the little monster had run in, climbed into his lap, turned those supremely powerful eyes on him and asked in the voice of an angel if she could _please please_ have a pony ride at her seventh birthday party. Puck, like countless fathers before him, had looked into those two abysses of starry-eyed cuteness and promptly proclaimed that she could have anything she wanted, while Sabrina frantically shook her head from the sidelines.

Later, when he fully realized the consequences of his extremely poorly timed assurance, his wife had sweetly informed him that it would take weeks to schedule even a half hour pony ride, and that he had better find another solution and fast. Then, he had turned in desperation to his royal guardsmen, offering DOUBLE, NO, TRIPLE overtime only to find that they had all mysteriously filed for vacation the same day. Mustardseed was his next hope, but when he inquired, his faithless brother had rubbed the back of his neck and prattled off countless things he ABSOLUTELY needed to do that day. His final hope, Wheatly, who, because of his short stature, Puck was hoping he would make a pretty decent pony, he never even got a chance to ask, as his diminutive herald had fled at the mere sight of him.

And so, Puck had resigned himself to an afternoon of ferrying five sweaty, obnoxious little brats and one devilish little siren around. If any of his subjects ever found out about this humiliation, he could kiss his kingly intimidation factor goodbye.

"Thank you," Puck gasped as Sabrina helped him pull off all the equestrian supplies. "You have no idea how hot that was." Puck stood up and stretched, feeling the soreness of his ribs and back.

"C'mon," Sabrina said as they started walking across the field. "Your daughter is missing you."

"When she grows up, she better be grateful." Puck grumbled. Just then, his stomach echoed his sentiments. "What flavor is the cake?"

"Chocolate, I think. Basil and Jacob are bringing it."

"What?! Again?!"

"Daphne did give me a three to one chance that they get it here in one piece." Puck sighed.

"Well, that's better than last year."

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><p>Hope you liked this second drabble! As usual, tell me mistakes and I'll fix them. You should know, reviews are like candy, only much sweeter! Plus, they never lose their flavor!<p> 


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